Stress Management: Stress

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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Stress Management: Worries Do Not Solve Problems, Actions Do

(Refer for the most authentic articles on Building Leadership and Management: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

Genesis of Worries: Worries Cause Stresses

Worrying is common among human beings. People have expectations, desires and wishes from self and others. These expectations, desires and wishes are the stimulus for giving rise to worries. One is not too sure about meeting some or many of these expectations, desires and wishes. The reason is that they throw moderate to serious challenges, threats and issues of some kind (either real or imagined) that one finds difficult to handle with the available resources and skills.

In such situations the mind often races to imagining/thinking and constructing scenarios of failures, mishaps, accidents, untoward conditions, non-pleasant occurrences, fear, deaths etc. These negative mental orgies are worries. When we are worrying, we are in the midst of repetitive toxic thinking. Many times these negative though yet non-existent outcomes are voluntarily or involuntarily enlarged or exaggerated out of proportion in the ever fertile imagination of human beings giving rise to Himalayan worries or draconian worries. Worry often gives a small incident a big shape.

All such worries ultimately cause stress and if one is already stressed, the stress gets multiplied because of worrying. When you worry, you are likely to feel:

Nervous and upset because you keep thinking about a problem that you have or likely to have in future
Uneasy or concerned about something
Troubled
Anxious or distressed
Nagging or persistent concern or mental uneasiness
Tormented or suffered from disturbing thoughts.

Some Examples of Worrying

You might see the streaks of worrying in the following often expressed utterances or feelings:

Traffic is my city is a constant concern and I dread taking out my car these days for fear of meeting an accident.
My major worry is that I may get fired from my job any day and this is killing me every day.
I worry about my grades in the final examination and if I do not get good result I may not get a decent job. That will be disastrous.
My husband’s health is worrying me and I cannot sleep. I feel constantly stressed.
My son has gone to stay in the college hostel, away from me for the first time in his life. I am very worried how he will cope up.
I have bought an expensive house by borrowing loan and now I constantly worry about our financial situation since I have to repay the loan by giving hefty installments.
Last week I was at the movie theater watching an interesting movie and I found myself worrying about work. I realized it was no use worrying about something I couldn’t do anything about at that moment but I couldn’t stop it.
I am flying for the first time and I am quite nervous about it. I don’t even know how to fasten the seat belt and how to call an air hostess.
I am getting older and I am alone. Who will look after me if I fall seriously ill? I keep thinking about it every now and then and feel stressed.
I am worried about the environmental pollution problems all across the globe. What will happen of the human kind? What will happen of the future generations?
This city has no more remained safe for the ladies. You hear ladies getting raped and robbed. It worries me for myself and my daughters.

Worries Do Not Solve Problems, Actions Do

Now you can see that some issues in the patterns of worries cited in the earlier paragraphs are real issues where as many others are fictitious and imaginary. Also the worries seem to be of short term nature and many of them are long term types.

In all kinds of such worrying one gets involved in a negative self-talk. Then it distracts the mind from focusing on solutions to the problem(s) at hand. For example, when a candidate waiting to be interviewed for a job become anxious or worried, he may repeatedly suggest to himself that he may not do well in the job interview and may not succeed to get the job. This toxic thinking may interfere with his focus on answering properly in the interview as the part of the brain that is needed to answer the questions is engaged in worrying.

So, one thing becomes clear that worrying alone cannot solve the problem. Taking some appropriate actions to solve the problems only will put a stop to your worries and the resultant stresses. It is not work or actions but worry that kills. So, when you feel worried, start taking actions on those matters that are the causes of your worries. So in the above-mentioned example if the candidate took extra care to prepare soundly for the interview, he would never have to worry about the interview process because he would have been quite confident of doing well in the interview.

Most of the Worries in Any Case Are Imaginary

Studies show that:

40% of what we worry about never happens.
30% of problems are over and done before we start to worry about them.
12% of our worries are about non-existent health problems.
10% of our worries are actually focused on the wrong things.

This leaves just 8% worries worth bothering about.

These findings, even if we take them with some pinch of salt, give us some confidence that there is nothing much to worry about really; after all it’s just about 8% of all the things.

Some Suggestions to Overcome or Reduce the Worries

Accept what you cannot change, on which you have no control at all (e.g. weather, natural disasters, death).
Don’t Worry about problems that do not exist.
Stop thinking for good spells of time at a stretch. You may have to practice it. Meditation can be useful.
If at all you need to worry, select a specific worry time and worry only during that time slot of the day or week.
If at all you need to worry, worry only one thing at a time. As they say, live one day at a time or dread one day at a time.
Those who you can’t sleep because the worries haunt them, should get out of the bed and do something instead of lying there worrying.
Stop worrying about committing mistakes. Only the people who work can make mistakes. So continue to work without fear of committing mistakes.The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
Do not take all the burden of the entire world on your shoulders. There are many out there sorting out various problems.
Share your worries with the people you can confide in. You are more likely to come up with solutions when you consult about your concerns with your confidants.
Human contacts like hugging a person who can empathize with you or receiving a warm pat on the back from a supporting person can do wonders in terms of giving you the morale boost or the strength you may need when faced with problems.
Sleep adequately and at regular hours. That will give you the required relaxation to your agitated mind.
Do regular physical exercises.
Eat nutritious food.

Most Important Suggestion: Act, Don’t Sit Worrying

Most importantly, get busy in solving the problem, start the action. That is the best thing to do to contain your worries. Follow the step by step approach to solve problems.

First try to understand what is the real problem. Then find the reasons, why the problem? Next step is to work out many solutions that can solve the problem. Choose the ones that are the best and practical. Implementing the selected solution(s) is the crux of problem solving and to get rid of your worries. Finding the solutions but not implementing them will not serve any purpose.

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com

Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.

Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological

(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners)http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated)http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence)http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Origin (Genesis) of Stress or Strain

Why Stress or Strain?

People around you (your bosses, colleagues, subordinates, customers, suppliers, spouse, parents, brothers, sisters, your boy friend/girl friend etc and you yourself have some or certain expectations from you.

You wish to fulfil those expectations for many reasons like feel happy, to make others feel happy, for self esteem, to improve your image on others, not become a subject of ridicule, laughter, blame, rejection by others etc. Therefore, your expectation from yourself is one of success and not failure. You want your expectations to be fulfilled.

That is the trigger to stress or strain.

The expectations in themselves do not create stress but it is your concern about the outcome of not being successful. What will happen if I don't succeed? What the people will think of me if I am a failure? Will I be seen as incompetent, will I become a laughing stock? Will people criticize me or blame me? Will some one shout at me? Will my relationship break? Will I lose money? Will I fail in examination? Will I fail in getting a job or a good job?

If you are sure of success, there in no tension and there is no stress. But when, in your own assessment of yourself, you feel that there are chances of partial or complete failure, stresses develop- the intensity and quantum vary.

You become successful when you assess that your capabilities (your knowledge, skills or competencies and your will power to succeed- in short your "human software (HSoftware))" are matching or exceeding the demands made on you by that particular stressful event or activity or situation. Then you meet those challenges and come out as winner. There is no stress or strain.

The links for details on HSoftware: http://humansoftware.blogspot.com/ or http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#" .

However, when, as per you assessment, your capabilities (the HSoftware) fall short of those demanded by the stressful event, activity or situation and you assess that you may be a failure or are not sure to succeed, the stresses start developing. The intensity and quantum of stresses are directly proportional to the gap between your assessed capabilities and the ones that are demanded by the stressful event, activity or situation.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Meaning of Stress

When you are under stress or you are stressed, you are experiencing one or more of the states of mind and/or body given below. That in simple words, is the meaning of stress.

pressure
strain
anxiety
constant worry
nervous tension
tension
trauma
hassle
demands
difficulty
load
burden
effort
mental strain
uneasy
complicatedness
exertion
troubled
inconvenienced
harassed
irritation
annoyance
get on your nerves
disturbed
upset
suffering
pain
distressed
ordeal
shocked

Stress Management