The Romance of Intimacy: The Great Stress Reliever

(If you are interested in authentic management books, go to “Best Books” at:http://best-book-list.blogspot.com)

(Refer for the most authentic articles on Building Leadership and Management:http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com
(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at:http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

Our Book: "Romance of Intimacy" 

(239 copies of the book bought by the readers in past couple of day)

Every married couple, every couple about to get married and the others who are in other relationships will be lucky to own this book titled "The Romance of Intimacy". It is an authentic guide on how to build, maintain and enhance the relationships. And it is written by the authentic authors.

Our ace authors Shyam Bhatawdekar and Dr Kalpana Bhatawdekar are multifaceted personalities. First and foremost, they are great human beings and a happily married couple of nearly 40 years standing. Besides they are rationally, emotionally and  spiritually intelligent as is evident from their  personal and professional profile- they are top notch business executives, highly sought after business consultants, eminent management gurus, prolific authors, authentic human behavior experts, humane psychologists, presenters par excellence.

Therefore, they are quite competent to tell you a thing or two about life in general and the married life in particular. They believe that if you are married and wish to remain married, you must try to seek the “bliss” of the married life. 

And as per them it is achieved by designing and experiencing intimacy in marriage. The partners in a relationship can romance in intimacy provided they wish to do it and provided they develop the skills and competencies that are needed to develop and enhance such an intimacy. It does not happen automatically. One has to take steps to do it.  

In this book, the authors suggest a six point program to achieve this. Each point of the six point program is one important lesson that needs to be understood and then implemented very well. 

Some excerpts from the book are re-produced below:

Need for Building Intimacy in Your Marriage

The fact of life is that you live with your parents and brothers and sisters for just  about 15 to 20 years of your entire life.  You live with your own children only for 15 to 20 years of your life. And you live 

with your spouse for around 60 to 70  years of your life if you got married at your  age 30 and your total life span is 90 to 100 years. 

So isn't it very obvious that you should invest more of your time and efforts in building up your married life? Don't you think you need to do whatever it needs to keep up the relationship with your spouse and spruce it up further to new heights? 

Over a period of time many of us get into a rut and forget what it needs to maintain, build up and enhance the relationship. So, here are some reminder lessons for you. 

Each of the forthcoming chapters of the book will narrate one important lesson. Implement this lesson and practice it again and again till it becomes your habit and happens to you naturally. 

While the book primarily deals with building intimacies between husband and wife in a marriage, the material suggested in the book is valid for any other types of relationships.  

So, without any further wait, now read the full book and begin your romance. The number of pages in the book are less than 100 and so its not a bulky, boring or time consuming book. The book can be read in  couple of hours and will come handy as a reference material throughout everyone's entire life.

You may like to download  the eBook version of the book at http://nbuu.co/bi

Stress Management: Auto Suggestion

(Refer for the most authentic articles on Building Leadership and Management: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

Alternate Methods/Techniques of Stress Management

Many people use many alternative techniques to cope up with their stresses and strains.

We are including some of these alternative techniques in our various blog posts, one technique in one post. Though certain methodologies have been suggested for these techniques, you need not have to copy them ditto in any ritualistic way. You can introduce some suitable adjustments in them in order to help them suit your requirements for your own comfort.

The nomenclatures may vary. Yet, some often-used labels have been assigned to these techniques.

In this post we are describing one of such alternate techniques of stress management called “Auto Suggestion”.

Auto Suggestion: An Alternate Technique/Method of Stress Management

You can do it sitting as well as lying down.

1. Fix your gaze upon one spot on the ceiling (if you are lying down) or on the opposite wall (if you are sitting in a chair). This spot should be slightly above eye level towards the top of your head, a position that naturally produces tension in the eye muscles, and makes them feel heavy, so that they eventually begin to close.
2. Repeat each of the following statements several times in your mind:
   - My eyelids are becoming heavier.
   - They are heavy and tired and I cannot keep them open.
   - I am allowing my eyes to close.
3. Now breathe slowly and deeply. Repeat mentally: “each time I breathe out, I am becoming more relaxed”.
4. Allow yourself to feel relaxed.
5. Pass your attention over each muscle group in turn. As your attention moves over each muscle group, repeat mentally: “my hands are becoming relaxed”.
6. Do this in turn for your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, face, head, chest, stomach, back, legs and feet. After you have made each suggestion, move on to the next area of your body. Then, mentally repeat: “each time I breathe out, the feeling of relaxation increases”.
7. Do not check to see whether it is happening or not. It will distract you from this exercise. Just accept
   that you want it to happen, it will happen and it is already happening.
8. When you are comfortably relaxed, take four to five deep breaths. On each cycle of inhalation and exhalation (except for the last cycle) mentally repeat the words “this tension is all….” as you breathe in and “….going away” as you breathe out. On the last cycle, mentally say “this tension has all…..” as you breathe in and “….gone away completely” as you breathe out.
9. Now relax and do not move or open your eyes for a few minutes (could be 5 to 8 minutes or more as you wish). You are now lying or sitting eyes closed without any movement.
10. To come out from this state, say in your mind “I now wish to return to full awareness. I shall count from one to ten, and as I do so, I shall gradually come back to full awareness”. Then count up from one to ten, gradually open your eyes, suggesting to yourself that you are feeling good in every way, feeling better than ever before.
11. Get up slowly and start your other activities.

(You may like to download authors' eBook titled "Stress? No way!! (Handbook on Stress Management" at http://nbuu.co/4)

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com


Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.


Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological

(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners) http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence) http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/

Stress Management: Forgive and Forget

(Refer for the most authentic articles on Building Leadership and Management: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

Alternate Methods/Techniques of Stress Management

Many people use many alternative techniques to cope up with their stresses and strains.

We are including some of these alternative techniques in our various blog posts, one technique in one post. Though certain methodologies have been suggested for these techniques, you need not have to copy them ditto in any ritualistic way. You can introduce some suitable adjustments in them in order to help them suit your requirements for your own comfort.

The nomenclatures may vary. Yet, some often-used labels have been assigned to these techniques.

In this post we are describing one of such alternate techniques of stress management called “Forgive and Forget”.

Forgive and Forget: An Alternate Technique/Method of Stress Management

It is not always easy, but the benefits of forgiving and forgetting can be powerful for emotional health and peace of mind.

Ideally both forgiving and forgetting should be done simultaneously for the best effect.

Some people say that they can forgive but cannot forget the wrong done to them. This will not give them complete peace of mind because they will keep remembering the painful past and it will keep troubling them and no one else. So why not forget too?

If you find difficulty in forgetting fully and the painful events come back to your mind now and then, it will be best to allow them but remember them graciously without letting them hurt you. Try to stop or filter out the bitterness the painful remembrance brings along with it. And stop or diminish your tendency of self-pity and hostility.

At times you may not be yet ready to forgive fully. In this case you can resort to decisional forgiveness. Decisional forgiveness involves choosing to let go of angry thoughts
about the person you feel has wronged you or you may decide to cut off your relationship with this person. Yet, the ultimate action will be the emotional forgiveness in which you replace the negative emotions such as resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, anger, and fear with love, compassion, sympathy and empathy.

You can use visualization method or cognitive method to forgive and forget.

In visualization method you can recall the painful incident and the related subjects in your imagination. Then suggest to yourself to gradually minimize the size of the visual display and see it getting minimized and then finally see it blanked out. Or you can visualize it and then crumple it and put it into a virtual dust bin/waste paper basket.

In cognitive method, recall the person who wronged you and say aloud or silently, “I have forgiven you without any grudge against you. I have also forgotten that incident and it will never haunt me again.”

So after you forgive and forget and once your emotional or mental health starts improving and you leave behind your stresses and strains, your physical health will also improve. Forgiving and forgetting will result in reducing anger, bitterness, resentment and other negative emotions and reducing the stress. It will help in strengthening the relationships. Additionally forgiving and forgetting will help maintain normal blood pressure and reducing pain (including back pain), stomach ailments and headaches.

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com


Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.


Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological

(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners) http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/

(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence) http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/

Stress Management: Worries Do Not Solve Problems, Actions Do

(Refer for the most authentic articles on Building Leadership and Management: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

Genesis of Worries: Worries Cause Stresses

Worrying is common among human beings. People have expectations, desires and wishes from self and others. These expectations, desires and wishes are the stimulus for giving rise to worries. One is not too sure about meeting some or many of these expectations, desires and wishes. The reason is that they throw moderate to serious challenges, threats and issues of some kind (either real or imagined) that one finds difficult to handle with the available resources and skills.

In such situations the mind often races to imagining/thinking and constructing scenarios of failures, mishaps, accidents, untoward conditions, non-pleasant occurrences, fear, deaths etc. These negative mental orgies are worries. When we are worrying, we are in the midst of repetitive toxic thinking. Many times these negative though yet non-existent outcomes are voluntarily or involuntarily enlarged or exaggerated out of proportion in the ever fertile imagination of human beings giving rise to Himalayan worries or draconian worries. Worry often gives a small incident a big shape.

All such worries ultimately cause stress and if one is already stressed, the stress gets multiplied because of worrying. When you worry, you are likely to feel:

• Nervous and upset because you keep thinking about a problem that you have or likely to have in future
• Uneasy or concerned about something
• Troubled
• Anxious or distressed
• Nagging or persistent concern or mental uneasiness
• Tormented or suffered from disturbing thoughts.

Some Examples of Worrying

You might see the streaks of worrying in the following often expressed utterances or feelings:

• Traffic is my city is a constant concern and I dread taking out my car these days for fear of meeting an accident.
• My major worry is that I may get fired from my job any day and this is killing me every day.
• I worry about my grades in the final examination and if I do not get good result I may not get a decent job. That will be disastrous.
• My husband’s health is worrying me and I cannot sleep. I feel constantly stressed.
• My son has gone to stay in the college hostel, away from me for the first time in his life. I am very worried how he will cope up.
• I have bought an expensive house by borrowing loan and now I constantly worry about our financial situation since I have to repay the loan by giving hefty installments.
• Last week I was at the movie theater watching an interesting movie and I found myself worrying about work. I realized it was no use worrying about something I couldn’t do anything about at that moment but I couldn’t stop it.
• I am flying for the first time and I am quite nervous about it. I don’t even know how to fasten the seat belt and how to call an air hostess.
• I am getting older and I am alone. Who will look after me if I fall seriously ill? I keep thinking about it every now and then and feel stressed.
• I am worried about the environmental pollution problems all across the globe. What will happen of the human kind? What will happen of the future generations?
• This city has no more remained safe for the ladies. You hear ladies getting raped and robbed. It worries me for myself and my daughters.

Worries Do Not Solve Problems, Actions Do

Now you can see that some issues in the patterns of worries cited in the earlier paragraphs are real issues where as many others are fictitious and imaginary. Also the worries seem to be of short term nature and many of them are long term types.

In all kinds of such worrying one gets involved in a negative self-talk. Then it distracts the mind from focusing on solutions to the problem(s) at hand. For example, when a candidate waiting to be interviewed for a job become anxious or worried, he may repeatedly suggest to himself that he may not do well in the job interview and may not succeed to get the job. This toxic thinking may interfere with his focus on answering properly in the interview as the part of the brain that is needed to answer the questions is engaged in worrying.

So, one thing becomes clear that worrying alone cannot solve the problem. Taking some appropriate actions to solve the problems only will put a stop to your worries and the resultant stresses. It is not work or actions but worry that kills. So, when you feel worried, start taking actions on those matters that are the causes of your worries. So in the above-mentioned example if the candidate took extra care to prepare soundly for the interview, he would never have to worry about the interview process because he would have been quite confident of doing well in the interview.

Most of the Worries in Any Case Are Imaginary

Studies show that:

• 40% of what we worry about never happens.
• 30% of problems are over and done before we start to worry about them.
• 12% of our worries are about non-existent health problems.
• 10% of our worries are actually focused on the wrong things.

This leaves just 8% worries worth bothering about.

These findings, even if we take them with some pinch of salt, give us some confidence that there is nothing much to worry about really; after all it’s just about 8% of all the things.

Some Suggestions to Overcome or Reduce the Worries

• Accept what you cannot change, on which you have no control at all (e.g. weather, natural disasters, death).
• Don’t Worry about problems that do not exist.
• Stop thinking for good spells of time at a stretch. You may have to practice it. Meditation can be useful.
• If at all you need to worry, select a specific worry time and worry only during that time slot of the day or week.
• If at all you need to worry, worry only one thing at a time. As they say, live one day at a time or dread one day at a time.
• Those who you can’t sleep because the worries haunt them, should get out of the bed and do something instead of lying there worrying.
• Stop worrying about committing mistakes. Only the people who work can make mistakes. So continue to work without fear of committing mistakes.The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
• Do not take all the burden of the entire world on your shoulders. There are many out there sorting out various problems.
• Share your worries with the people you can confide in. You are more likely to come up with solutions when you consult about your concerns with your confidants.
• Human contacts like hugging a person who can empathize with you or receiving a warm pat on the back from a supporting person can do wonders in terms of giving you the morale boost or the strength you may need when faced with problems.
• Sleep adequately and at regular hours. That will give you the required relaxation to your agitated mind.
• Do regular physical exercises.
• Eat nutritious food.

Most Important Suggestion: Act, Don’t Sit Worrying

Most importantly, get busy in solving the problem, start the action. That is the best thing to do to contain your worries. Follow the step by step approach to solve problems.

First try to understand what is the real problem. Then find the reasons, why the problem? Next step is to work out many solutions that can solve the problem. Choose the ones that are the best and practical. Implementing the selected solution(s) is the crux of problem solving and to get rid of your worries. Finding the solutions but not implementing them will not serve any purpose.

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com

Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.

Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological

(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners)http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated)http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence)http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/

Stress Management: Life Style Suggestions (Tips on Daily Life)

Given below are certain simple suggestions or tips on how to lead your daily life. Improving your life style itself can reduce the existing stresses and control the occurrence of stresses in your life.

• Prepare for the next day's important items of work on the evening of the day.
• Do not keep awake late in nights.
• Sleeping between 10 PM to 11 PM will be a good idea.
• Sleep for around 7 to 8 hours every night. Therefore if you sleep at 10.30 PM, waking up around 6 AM to 6.30 AM is a good idea.
• Wear loose and comfortable clothes while sleeping. Do not wear tight and uncomfortable clothes.
• Before sleeping take stock of the meaningful work your did during the day. It will give you the satisfaction of having achieved something on daily basis and you might get sleep as soon as you hit the bed and may get sound sleep.
• Do some planning for the day, week , month and year ahead. Setting up objectives/goals/targets will facilitate their achievements in smoother and efficient manner. Do not rely only on your memory. Write down. Making the lists helps. Refer: (Goal/Target Setting) http://goal-target-setting.blogspot.com/ 
• Learn and practice time management. Set priorities for work. This way you will not crowd your day with unnecessary and non-value adding work and will use your time on important and value adding activities without feeling stressed. Refer: (Time Management) http://time-life-management.blogspot.com/
• If you have to cook, simplify the meals and use the home/kitchen tips throughout your work weak. For useful tips, refer: http://tastetherecipes.blogspot.com/2011/03/celebrating-my-100th-post-drink-and-few.html and http://tastetherecipes.blogspot.com/
• In addition to spending time on your professional work, set some time aside and do your hobbies, play an outdoor game, do gardening, read light literature and watch an interesting program or movie on television.
• Go for a walk frequently during the week (for around 45 minutes to an hour at one time). Exercise few days in a week. Refer: (Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/ and (Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
• Socialize with people. Weekends can be used for this purpose.
• Spend lots of time with your family as often as possible.
• Love your family members unconditionally and demonstrate it by hugging them and expressing, "I love you lots and lots and lots." Develop intimate emotional relationship with your family members.
• Learn to listen and listen a lot. Refer: (Listening) http://listen-skills.blogspot.com/
• Learn to praise others and praise them well. Refer: (Positive Strokes) http://positive-strokes.blogspot.com/
• Share your emotions and feelings with those who are intimate with you.
• Go out for picnics, excursions, sightseeing and travel few times in an year.
• Indulge in eating leisurely breakfasts, lunches, evening tea and dinners with your family on many of your weekends.
• Do eat out once in a while in a relaxed environment.
• If you are married, develop intimate emotional and physical relationship with your spouse.
• Do not try pleasing everyone around you.
• Laugh a lot. Do not take life seriously all the time. Lighten up. Develop your sense of humor.

Stress Management: Lack of Self-esteem or Lack of Self-worth

Lack of self-esteem or lack of self-worth is one of the causes of stress.

Feeling of lack of self-worth emanates from a lopsided pattern of thinking or from your destructive view of the self.

At times it is because of constant comparison of one's achievements with those of others by self or by other people making one feel less of an achiever. Some of such people also get into a habit of always feeling awed by others' achievements and creating an inferiority complex in themselves. For them grass is always greener on the other side or neighbor's wife is always more beautiful than mine syndrome.

Other times it is setting up unrealistic goals and not achieving them.

Some people look down upon their successes all the time. They rate their achievements as insignificant. They believe that they could have achieved more than what they did so far. They are unnecessarily harsh on themselves.

A habit of only looking at failures more than looking at the successes and discounting most of the successes as not worthy of being called as successes also leads to lack of self-worth.

It also happens sometimes that one has not really done an objective assessment of one's success or achievements and has created a false feeling of being a loser because of one reason or the other. It may be fictional all you know.

We also come across situations when the person stressed due to lack of self-esteem is aware that he had not been putting in efforts towards achieving something that will boost his self-worth. This often time happens due to apathy towards life due to laziness or lack of will power.

In all of these situations one thing is sure that the feeling of lack of self-esteem will suck any person into a vicious circle that can be called as diminishing spiral of self worth. The feeling that I do not achieve much most of the times will further put a brake on one's actions and that will further result in non-achievement. Thus it constructs a diminishing spiral and generates lots of stresses all along.

One needs to break this diminishing spiral. For this it important to think straight and objectively about the self- shun the fictional and destructive thinking.

From now onwards, start thinking more about what you achieve on an every day basis and reduce thinking about what you could not achieve. Count your achievements or successes of the day, howsoever insignificant they may seem to you or to others. They are your successes and so, count them. Also think about those strengths of yours which helped you achieve those successes. It will be good habit to write them down as your daily journal and keep on accumulating your successes into this journal.

In addition, try to recall all of your previous achievements and successes from your childhood till today- the day from which you have decided to review your achievements on a daily basis. Document all of these life long achievements also in your journal.

Include even your normally termed very small achievements. Examples: "I told my kid a nice story that delighted him". "I help my wife in cooking". "I completed the official assignment in time today". "I bargained and saved money in today's purchases". "I checked my anger throughout the day". "My interpersonal relationship with my boss improved significantly today because I came to his rescue in a top level meeting". "I enrolled myself in an evening MBA course". "I did not get promotion but I did get a good raise".

As you keep adding your new successes and achievements in your journal on a daily basis, also revise or re-visit your previous achievements and successes by reading and re-reading them. It is your affirmation system- affirming to you that your are good, you are a winner.

By doing this you are shattering your own bleak picture that you had imagined about yourself and bringing in the desired brightness.

That is the start of reversing the spiral. You have now arrested it's tendency to diminish and now it will start increasing in the right way. It will turn into a positive spiral and your self-esteem or self-worth will start improving day by day. In days, the improvements will be more synergistic.

And finally, the continual improvements in your self worth will pull you out of the stresses and strains.